before the garbage men got in so that I could toss the old boxes
(they were falling apart, I was relocating the contents to a more
sturdy bin), and discovered that one of these boxes was my ancient
history box from my gradeschool years. And wow did that hurt.
First mistake, "Oh wow! My old diary!" .. opened it up, first
page, "MY LOVES FIFTH GRADE!" .. blah blah, third one down, "JOSH
ILK! *heart*". Ack!
First entry in January (year marked 1986), I describe the day my
first cat was run over by a car. Most of the rest of the diary is
pretty angst filled too (gee, fancy that!) And I apparently met
Josh on March 4, 1984 ("I just met this GORGEOUS boy!").
(For those who don't know this already, Josh died in the early
Ok, move along then. I start finding all of the pictures of my
dad and Judy amongst tons of the outdoors (I still can't find most
of the pics from Japan though, dammit -- though there was one
overexposed one from the Big Copper Buddha) and my early friends.
Ok, keep those out anyway, I need to scan in a bunch of pictures
Moving along more, I find the articles of Karen Hurwitz's murder.
So I tossed the rest without looking at it in the bin, took the
boxes to the curb, and sat down and cried. Though, I have to say,
crying for all the people I've lost in my life does feel good now,
I'm glad I'm finally able to do it.