March 12th, 2003


My Life With the Fight Club

So, uh, I think I've been doing the Fight Club thing and going out during the day when I think I'm sleeping. It's the only way to explain some things:

1) for the past week, I've been waking up feeling like I've been doing horrible strenuous exercise that's left every muscle in my body aching. This pain has been increasing daily. The most exercise I can recall getting in this time is walking to the Incline.

2) I haven't had any great desire for a cigarette, plus I also feel like I've been smoking -- I'm still coughing like I'm smoking, and I'm waking up with my throat all dry and scratchy just like I've smoked too much the day before. It's now been almost a week and a half since my last cigarette.

3) I'm exhausted constantly, but can't sleep. When I do sleep, I have weird nightmares I can't remember, then I wake up completely disoriented.

Ok, so the Fight Club thing isn't the *only* way to explain it (though, that would rule) .. most likely the nicky fits + insomnia are just sending my chemicals haywire. Like, the muscle pain is just stifled adrenaline crudding up the muscles, and nightly bad nightmares (caused by nicky fitting and lack of sleep) could very well be pumping me with adrenaline, worsening the aches, and making me wake up disoriented, but damn doo.

I'm at the point of begging someone to just shoot me so I can sleep peacefully.

Holy shit.
Thousands of Russians volunteer to defend Iraq
Around ten thousand Russian citizens have applied for entry visas into Iraq to defend this country against the planned aggression by the warmongering USA and UK, according to the Iraqi Embassy in Moscow.

Plus, an assassination attempt on a ruler of some small European country:
Serbian leader seriously wounded in assassination attempt; 2 arrested

The Associated Press

BELGRADE, Serbia-Montenegro (March 12, 2003 8:02 a.m.
EST) - Serbian Prime Minister Zoran Djindjic - one of the
leaders of the opposition that toppled Slobodan Milosevic - was
seriously wounded Thursday in an assassination attempt, a
radio station reported.
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So, uh.... I know a lot of you are going to call me paranoid, but doesn't this strike you as scary?