gwen (gwenix) wrote,
gwen
gwenix

My Life With the Fight Club

So, uh, I think I've been doing the Fight Club thing and going out during the day when I think I'm sleeping. It's the only way to explain some things:

1) for the past week, I've been waking up feeling like I've been doing horrible strenuous exercise that's left every muscle in my body aching. This pain has been increasing daily. The most exercise I can recall getting in this time is walking to the Incline.

2) I haven't had any great desire for a cigarette, plus I also feel like I've been smoking -- I'm still coughing like I'm smoking, and I'm waking up with my throat all dry and scratchy just like I've smoked too much the day before. It's now been almost a week and a half since my last cigarette.

3) I'm exhausted constantly, but can't sleep. When I do sleep, I have weird nightmares I can't remember, then I wake up completely disoriented.

Ok, so the Fight Club thing isn't the *only* way to explain it (though, that would rule) .. most likely the nicky fits + insomnia are just sending my chemicals haywire. Like, the muscle pain is just stifled adrenaline crudding up the muscles, and nightly bad nightmares (caused by nicky fitting and lack of sleep) could very well be pumping me with adrenaline, worsening the aches, and making me wake up disoriented, but damn doo.

I'm at the point of begging someone to just shoot me so I can sleep peacefully.
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